I Love You Kurt Hummel
by ohfather-pleasefather
Summary: Blaine Anderson realizes that he needs to change his ways after he has a strange epiphany after a car accident. AU.


**Title: **I Love You Kurt Hummel

**Rating:** M

**Characters: **Kurt H. and Blaine A.

**Summary: **Blaine Anderson realizes that he needs to change his ways after he has a strange epiphany after a car accident.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or the characters. Just the plot. :)

**Notes: **My favourite movie ever has been mashed together with my favourite TV show. 3 I cannot ask for more. I hope you all really like it. I actually had to re-watch the movie so many times to get the words right and stuff. Literally just typing madly as they spoke. Not such a big deal. I mean, well, I guess kinda but whatevs. Anywho, hope you all enjoy!

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><p><strong>I Love You Kurt Hummel<strong>

**Chapter One**

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><p><strong>Texas State Penitentiary Hospital Ward – 1998<strong>

_The alarm next to Blaine Anderson rang loudly. He stared blankly into space, unable to speak for himself. The nurses rushed into the room, brushing briskly past his bed to the one next to him. As it turns out, the guy next to Blaine was closer to death than he was. Blaine turned his head lazily to watch, trying not to move too much. His mouth felt dry. Sighing silently, he looked back up at the ceiling. His pale face looked almost like death itself. His eyes were glassed over and his mouth hung open so he was able to breath. It was like he had so many things to say, but not enough time..._

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><p>Love sure is a funny thing. It makes you happy, makes you sad, makes you do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. Love's the reason I'm here, actually...<p>

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><p><strong>Chesapeake Bay, VA – 1966<strong>

When I was a young boy, I'd always lay down on a top of a hill with my three best friends, Mary, Johnny and Will. It was relaxin' to me, when I had school and chores to worry about. My momma and father always were good to me however. But when I was just havin' a rotten day, me and my buddies would climb up to the top of the hill and watch the clouds.

"I still don't see it." Spoke Will. He was layin' near the part where the hill slope started. His hands were behind his fiery red curls. He almost had an afro, if I think about it. Will was a good friend to me and we did everything together. And no matter how much of a good friend he was, he still was as dumb as can be and as blind as a bat.

"It's right there." Mary replied before I could even get a peep out. Her hand pointed up towards the sky at a certain cloud that we were tryin' to figure out. Mary was the one who always spoke for others. If we needed someone to convince others to do stuff, it was her. She'd get the job done. In fact, I always thought that Mary might have fancied me just a little.

"It's really big." Then there was me. Johnny was being quiet today. Or at least he didn't have enough time before I heard my momma callin' out to me.

"Blaine!" I heard her shout. I sat straight and looked down the hill towards my own back yard. Sure enough, there she was, her hands on her hips with my brother standin' beside her. The sun blinded me a bit, so I shielded my eyes, seein' her call my name again. "Blaaaaaine!"

Gettin' up, I pushed myself forward and ran down the hill, nearly trippin' on my own two feet many times. Momma walked me into the house and sat me down in the livin' room. Both momma and father were placed in the chairs that were across from the couch and they were both leanin' in towards me. I just watched them, innocent and doe-eyed, a large smile building up across my face. I probably looked dumb. They were silent for a little bit, watching me with curiosity. Just as my cheeks were startin' to hurt and I stopped my smilin', my momma finally spoke.

"Are you a happy little boy, Blaine?" Her head tilted to the side. I nodded, adding in my happy smile.

"You've always been such a happy little boy. Now Blaine, we want to tell you something very important, but we want you to understand that it doesn't change a thing." My momma started to make be worried with the way she was talkin'. I knew I had nothing to be worried about, but it made me feel uneasy. "We're still gonna love you, you're still gonna be our happy little boy and you're still gonna-"

Momma was cut off by my brother shouting out, "You're adopted."

I felt all the blood drain from my face. My happy smile left and it was replaced with confusion. Adopted? How could I be adopted? No parent would leave their child. Momma smacked my brother upside the head and it was my turn to tilt my head.

"It's true, Blaine. Your brother over heard your father and I talking about it and well, we didn't want you to hear it from anyone else but us. You're a special little boy. You know why? Because we chose you. Not like your brother here who's natural." Momma patted his head.

"Your mother's right. It's cause we love you. So we put some money in a brown paper bag and gave it to your real mom in the hospital parking lot so you could come home with us. Okay?" My father leaned more forward, clasping his thick fingers together in his lap.

"It doesn't change a thing, honey. We love you just as much as we love your brother here..." Momma went to put an arm around my brother but stopped, smiling at me. "And he's natural."

"So son, are you okay?" No one moved until I nodded.

"Yes, Father." I smiled widely for some unknown reason in that moment. I was just told that I was adopted and I was okay with it. I knew my momma and father loved me. I just knew it. Both my parents relaxed; they both leaned back and sighed with relief...

It hurt a bit, but I decided I wasn't gonna let it get me down. No way. I was gonna be the best son- No, the best person I could be...

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><p><strong>Virginia Beach Church Of God – 1984<strong>

What a joyous Sunday it was. Here at church with my wife, Rachel, and my four year old daughter, Quinn. I was part of the chorus. Well, the organ player. Life was great. It really couldn't get better than this.

"We shall rise! We shall rise!" The men and women sang. I sang along, naturally because I love to praise the Lord and his mightiness. My attention was turned to Rachel. I gave her a wink before continuing to sing again. Oh yes, it was a good day to be in church.

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><p><strong>Virginia Beach Police Station: Front Desk – 1984 <strong>

Just as I walked into the office, Tina, the receptionist pressed a switch on her telephone.

"Virginia Beach Police Department, how may I direct your call?" I walked past her desk, giving Tina a small wave. Just a friendly one, no need to be over the top. She was on the phone after all. Tina pulled the reciever away from her phone and whispered to me so the person on the line couldn't hear.

"Something came for you." She smiled and turned her attention back to the phone. I just nodded, moving on. Turning the corner came with no surprise to me. A bunch of the members of the force greeted me with their same old sayings.

"Hey Blaine!"

"Mornin' Blaine."

"It's good to see you? How's Rachel?"

With a nod of my head, it was all answered and I walked straight into my office. Closing the door I stared at the box that sat atop of my desk. My hands were shaking, nervousness was taking over. Cautiously making my way to the box, I turned it around and looked at the side of the box. The name made me stop and hold my breath. _Emma Pillsbury._

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><p><strong>Anderson Residence: Quinn's room, Virginia Beach – 1984<strong>

I gently pressed a kiss to my baby girl's forehead and pulled the blankets up to tuck her in. She snuggled deeper into the warmth and smiled at me. What I wouldn't give to return to that moment and watch her grow up. Quinn was and still is the light of my life. I wouldn't want to miss anything important for the world.

"Have lots of dreams, sweetie." I said softly as I got up and walked to the door. Just as I was leaving, I heard Quinn mumble out an okay. I just smiled.

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><p><strong>Anderson Residence: Blaine and Rachel's bedroom, Virginia Beach – 1984 <strong>

I don't know why, but Rachel always wanted to pray every night before bed. I guess she was really getting into this Jesus kick. But being a good and perfect husband, I had to do as I was told. So I was right next to my gorgeous wife and I was praying right along with her. But I was missing the passion that Rachel had in her voice.

"...and if it wasn't for you Jesus, I never would have found that last coffee filter and Prayer-Girls would have been ruined. So thank you for that." Rachel paused for a moment.

"Amen." I spoke and I went to stand, only to be tugged back down on my knees as Rachel continued.

"Oh, and thank you for Quinnie's allergy screen coming back all negative. I always knew it was in your plan for her to enjoy nuts. Not to mention how hard it would be for us to adjust to that. And finally, I want to thank you for this man, Jesus. This man who work so hard to make us happy without even a thought for himself." Rachel tightened her hold on my hand, watching me with a happy smile, the smile I fell in love with. I go to get up again, only to be stopped by Rachel.

"This man who pursued me to the ends of the Earth and promised me a life of eternal happiness. A promise he has kept, oh Lord. Every day. Amen." I watched as my wife closed her eyes and sighed.

"Amen." I muttered quickly and was so close to finally rising before Rachel spoke again, her voice cracking.

"Sometimes when I think of how happy I am, I just want to cry. Like the time when you-"

"Okay, let's wrap it up."

"In your gracious name, I find thee and praise thee. Amen." Rachel smiled brightly and rose from her spot on the floor, my hand in hers.

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><p><strong>Anderson Residence: Blaine and Rachel's bedroom: later, Virginia Beach – 1984<strong>

I don't exactly know how it happened, but making Rachel happy was probably a turn on for her. Shortly after we had shut off the lights, Rachel was a bit closer to me than she usually was. Not that I was complaining. But when she was lightly grazing her fingers over the bare skin on my arm, I couldn't help but wonder how her mind had gotten there in the first place. I loved it when she touched me like that. With her hand caressing down my side, past my hip and to my inner thigh. Our clothes were slowly shed and our lips were kissing every crevice of each others bodies. It was okay in the eyes of God for us to do this. It was normal because we were married. It was normal for Rachel to slink down under the covers and wrap her perfectly plump lips around the head of my swollen member, sinking her mouth down and bob her head at the perfect pace. It was natural of her to pull away with a popping sound just before I was about to come, sliding her naked body up my own and turn us over so I was leaning above her. It was totally okay in the eyes of the great Lord for me to slick my cock up and cover it with a condom, penetrating her tight hole and begin to thrust into her like my life depended on it. Rachel left claw marks on my back before her hand s made their way up to the head board, gripping onto it. I rocked my hips harder against her tiny frame, the sweat just rolling off my torso.

Her breathing was rigid and raged; she was close. I don't know exactly what happened or what possessed me to do this, but it was strong enough to stop my thrusts.

"Rach- You know as a cop, I have lots of access? You know- records and things?" It was out of the blue, totally random. I know. I didn't even look at Rachel's face when she answered.

"Blaine-"

Obliviously, I continued. "Now do you think it's, you know, unethical, to use that to find my mother?" When I glanced down, Rachel watched me like she had just finally clicked into what I was talking about.

"Oh, that... Yeah, um, I don't know.."

"I swear honey, getting it around the system's so easy. No one would even know I did it."

"I know you want to find her, Blaine, but you need to think about this." She was right.

"You're right, I shouldn't have done it."

Her eyes lit up. Oops, I let it slip. Why do I not feel bad?

"You did it? Oh my God, Blaine- what did you find?" She was excited for me. My perfect wife.

I shrugged and sighed. "I haven't looked. It's downstairs..." I admitted. Rachel sat up slightly.

"Really? Well let's go." She went to move and I pouted, pushing her back down softly against the bed. My cock was twitching, still aching and rock hard inside her tightness.

"Well hold on, let me finish." And I went back to slamming myself roughly back into her.

Only seconds later we were both screaming, coming and clinging to each other.

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><p><strong>Anderson Residence: Dining room, Virginia Beach – 1984<strong>

We sat at the table. Well, I sat. Rachel stood behind me, watching me with such compassion as I flipped through the files in the box that was on my desk yesterday. Rachel sipped from her glass of milk and placed mine beside me. I don't quite understand why she chose milk, but it was good enough for me. Milk was healthy, made the brain think.

I continued to read and suddenly cracked a incredulous smile. Rachel noted it and leaned against my shoulder.

"What?" She asked.

"I found her. She's been here all this time." I skimmed the page. Sure enough, it was her. She was just two streets over. How could I have missed _that_!

"It's really her?"

"No questions asked, it's really her."

"Oh my goodness, Blaine, that's wonderful!" Rachel moved back as I rose from the chair. We both shared a smile. My eyes glanced back at the paper as Rachel said something about making cookies. Suddenly my smile was gone. The one line on the paper that I didn't think I'd see and there it was.

"Blaine... Blaine what's wrong?"

I could not believe my eyes.

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><p><strong>Pillsbury Residence, Virginia – 1984<strong>

It was a moderately nice house. Middle class, maybe. I walked briskly up the cobble stone pathway and up the creaky wooden steps. My knuckles rapped against the old screen door and I made sure everything on my uniform was correctly placed. The door opened and an elderly women peeked out. Worry struck her face.

"Is something wrong, officer?" Her voice was uneasy.

"Are you Emma Pillsbury?" I couldn't speak. The butterflies in my stomach had increased greatly. This could be my own birth mother and soon I'd find out the reason why she had given me up. Why she didn't want to keep an old fool like me.

"Yes, I am. Is something wrong? Is someone hurt?" Emma opened the screen door and stepped outside, tugging her cardigan closed.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. You gave a baby up for adoption, correct?" I fiddled with my hands, keeping them low. I didn't want to show her how anxious I was, or give away that I was the child she had given up.

An ashen look fell over Emma's face and she stepped backwards a bit towards the door. I followed her slightly.

"I don't think I know what you're talking about..." She opened the door just as I stepped forward, slipping through the crack.

Behind her, I seen a table. At the table was two grown boys, a grown girl and a littler girl. And a birthday cake. That hit close to home, and I felt it in my heart.

"Elizabeth City? St. Jude's Hospital? Remember?" I edged more, trying to ignore the fact that she had purposely given me up.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were young. I know you made a mistake giving me away, but-"

"Listen-"

"Shhhh. Mommy, please. Let me finish." The colour in her face drained away and before she could say anything else, I started again. "We all make mistakes. What I came here to tell you is that I forgive you, because none of us is perfect but now with a fresh start we can build-"

She paced back and slammed the door right in my face. My voice cut it's self off at that point, not risking sounding like a further idiot. Her voice was clear behind the door.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Blaine."

She knew my name. She said it. How can she lie to my face! I felt my anger boil up. "Okay, okay! I understand. It's a lot to take in, but I can come back later. How's that? I can come back and I'll bring us some coffee..." At this point, I was already at the bottom of the house steps. "and we can talk about how you.." And then I snapped. Turning back is when I yelled out, "ABANDONED ME AND KEPT YOUR OTHER TWO CHILDREN. I WAS THE MIDDLE CHILD! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT WAS WRONG. WITH. ME?"

I didn't notice that I was crying until I was sitting in my police cruiser, bashing my fists against the steering wheel in anger. How could she do this to me? How could I be forgotten by my own mother?

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><p><em> I quit the force that day. I packed up my family and moved to Texas. I got a great job and got to live the American dream...<em>

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><p><strong>Anderson Residence, Houston TX – 1986<strong>

So there I was, at my own BBQ party in my own back yard in Texas. I moved through my yard slowly, asking others if they were having a good time. Of course, they all replied with a yes. I was hoping that they would, too. My life was finally good. I had forgotten all about my real mother and my awful life back in Virginia and started to live my new one. I had made many friends here in Texas, including a few of our neighbours. I passed through the patio doors and scooped up Quinn, who was looking miserable.

"I can't find my blue fish, daddy." She pouted towards me. My heart just broke right there. I was about to answer.

"Check-"

"Blaine?" Rachel called and she walked towards me and Quinn, followed by a lovely looking couple. They were both so young and fresh looking.

I set Quinn down and told her to check in the laundry room. She ran off and I smiled friendly.

"Blaine, you haven't met our new neighbours down two and across the street, Neil and Sara." Rachel introduced us and I held my hand out.

"No, I haven't. I hope you're planning on changing the paint. What do you call that colour?" I nodded my head towards the house that they lived in, smiling. They both laughed.

"Oh, we're changing it." Neil said and he shook my hand back. Firm grasp.

"Good, good, good... good."

"So.. Rachel tells me that you used to be on the force in Georgia." Neil was trying to make conversation. Georgia? Man, he really sucked at this.

"Virginia Beach." I corrected the man.

"Right, sorry.." Neil chuckled nervously and wrapped an arm around Sara's waist.

"Neil.." Sara mumbled, obviously embarrassed. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

These guys were not impressing me and I decided to change the subject.

"Yeah, I kinda lost interest. Got back into the family business." Great start. Rachel nodded and leaned against my side. I wanted to make them squirm.

"Which is?" Neil pushed.

"Produce. I work for Sysco."

He nodded at my statement. "That's a big outfit. They give you that Corvette out there?" His head tilted to the driveway. My car was flawless, if I do say so myself.

"Yes-siree." I nodded with pride. She was a beauty. Just got her, too.

"Great benefits, too." Rachel added and smiled at me. She just adored me.

I nodded along with my wife. "And the hours don't crush me. I get plenty of home time."

"It's good to have him where I can keep an eye on him." Rachel purred.

"Among other things..." I wagged my eyebrows at the young couple suggestively and then leaned towards Rachel, capturing her lips against my own. She gasps in surprise against my lips and I smirk. Deepening the kiss was easy, Rachel always melted under my touch. I pulled her tight up against my body, hearing a throat clear. I decided to take it one step further and practically forced her lips to part, pushing my tongue past them and pressed my hand against the back of her head.

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><p><strong>Apartment Bedroom, Houston TX – 1986<strong>

The room was dark. Only the moon light the room through the half opened curtains. The mood was set long before it was this dark. The door was closed, locked and double locked. Clothes were tossed and strewn across the entire room and the only sounds that were heard was the creaking of the bed, skin slapping against skin and the deep breathing and moans.

My hands were everywhere. Sliding along the spine and gripping at the shoulders, pushing my cock deeper into the tight hole surrounding it. Bringing my hands back to the hips, I thrust in harder, being sure that there would be bruises in the morning. Sweat covered my body, allowing me to lean forward and glide my stomach against the body beneath me. It felt like heaven. Peppering sloppy kisses down the spine of the figure, I groaned lowly. This was it. The feeling pooling against my lower abdomen. I knew it was coming and I pressed my fingers into the hips.

Standing my back straight I cried out, "I.. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come!"

"Do it! Oh fuck, come in my ass!" The man beneath me cried out louder and we both tensed.

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><p><em> Oh, did I forget to mention I was gay? Yeah, sorry about that. I'm gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay-ity gay. Have been for as long as I can remember...<em>

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><p><strong>Chesapeake Bay, VA – 1966<strong>

Back on the hilltop was always a fond memory that I liked to go back to. We always went cloud seeking when we were bored enough. Like I said before, it was relaxing for me to do. I liked it. Of course, other people had different things they seen. I seen them all. But only one really stuck out to me.

"I see a pony! What do you guys see?" Mary said and she looked at the rest of us.

"I see a diesel train!" Johnny laughed.

"I see a whirlybird!" Spoke out Will.

"I see a wiener." Yep. That was me.

The three of them looked at me like I was nuts. I wouldn't blame them. I probably was. Or well, I at least liked them.

"What? What kind of wiener?" Will crossed his arms and then looked back up to the sky.

How was I supposed to say it nicely? I couldn't. So I just said it. "A man's wiener..."

"Shut up! There's no wiener up there!" Johnny snickered.

After a long argument between me and Johnny, Mary piped in. "Oh! I see it!"

"Told ya..." I said with a smug grin.

_ Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah..._

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><p><strong>Apartment bedroom, Houston TX – 1986<strong>

"Do it! Oh fuck, come in my ass!" The man beneath me cried out louder and we both tensed. The contractions of his ass against my cock made me shout, jerking my hips uncontrollably.

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><p><em> And I so did.<em>

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><p><strong>Houston Street – 1986<strong>

Driving down the road to home in my red corvette was not new. I had the radio on and the wind in my face, fresh and all sexed out. I'd definitely have to give him a call again. He was a good lay. Better than most of the men in this town.

_ Now just because I was screwing around didn't mean I didn't love Rachel. I did. I loved her with all my heart, Quinn too. My family was all I had and they needed me. So I told myself it was just a little lie and it was better for everybody if it stayed that way. _

The breeze was cooler as I sped up. Not that I minded. I was feeling a bit hot from the alcohol in my system. Drinking and driving is bad, but hey, it would never happen to me. I never got in a car crash. I was a good driving. I can do anything if I believe in myself.

_ That's what I told myself. But life has a way of forcing these things into the light._

It happened so fast. One minute I was driving freely and the next I was sprawled out on the pavement, EMS people surrounding me, making sure I have no broken bones. When I asked what happened, they told me. A transport was passing and I guess I didn't see it. I rammed right into the side of the transport load, causing me to go through the windshield. I didn't even want to ask about the car.

_You might even call it an epiphany._

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><p><strong>Ditch, Houston TX – 1986<strong>

I was being slowly picked up and put onto a stretcher when I finally realized what I needed to in order to be happy.

"I haven't been living my life..." I muttered. It was true. I wasn't. I was living someone else's. Someone else who wanted me to be a straight and perfect man.

"Try not to talk sir." The paramedics lifted me into the back.

"Fuck you... no one is going to tell me what to do anymore. No more lies. I'm going to live my life. My way. Be the real me. Time for some good living. Buy what I want. Do what I want. Fuck who I want. My way." I was going to stick by it. I would be happier and much more accomplished. Or at least that's what I seen in my head when I was saying it. The paramedics weren't buying it.

"Okay sir, whatever you say."

"I'm gonna be a fag..."

"Okay."

"A big fag."

"Alright." He turned to the driver. "Let's move."

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><p><em>And TADA! Leave reviews! I'll have to type the second chapter, since this story is FAR from over. :)<em>


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